The Marathon - the highs and lows of starting your brand

Jun 11
5 min read

Personally, I've never been a runner. Wait, lemme take that back. I used to be a runner. Emphasis on the 'used to'. I used to walk and run up the country drive at one of my old houses in high school. But like back in fifth grade, we did a relay race. And I remember being so proud to be chosen.

Because whoever ran the fastest could partake in it. Now I don't remember if my school won or not, it's been so long. But I do remember running and seeing across the other runners that I was one of the first people to reach their partner.

I think about that now of course because of my last few weeks.

I've talked about the business before of course. But this past week felt different. Like I was being tested. But not with running in general. No. The question was or rather the test was: could I equally rest as much as I could run the mile? At the time of course it wasn't all that easy to piece together.

My character and Xiaver in the game Love and Deepspace. A gotcha game I downloaded while resting.

I just didn’t have the energy in me to write. I got sick, again, plus one damage to my gastro issues and plus two for something unrelated. It took everything in me just to rest. And I’ve always been on the go. So, it’s hard for me to understand the importance of taking a necessary break for the marathon ahead.

My nervous system, while not always, will go in these tizzies about: CRITICAL!! SITUATION CRITICAL!! EVERYTHING IS IMPORTANT.

Like ho it is most certainly not. Take the damn chill pill and sit down beside me. Biggest thing you need to worry about right now is drinking enough water and finding your joy. I think about ‘Your Song’ by Elton John.

I don't have much money, but boy, if I did

I'd buy a big house where we both could live

And specifically, the gnome serenading to the frog scene in Gnomeo and Juliet—I have no idea why XD. Sometimes it’s best not to ask questions and just move forward. Anyway, I was going somewhere with this, right. I’ve also been talking to one of my therapists (yes I am that screwed up that they had to tag team me. No, no it’s not like that she’s a student in training) about finding my joy.

At first, I treated it like a mission in a sci-fi film. Y’know Matrix level-shit-is-going-down-directive. Went for a walk, took a nice shower, and threw on a foot mask. I propped myself up and threw on the first movie I saw. Animal Farm. Yes, baby I did. I had personally never seen it before. I never read it in high school like the AP kids did. We read Of Mice and Men, Twelve Angry Men, The Grapes of Wrath, etc. I knew it had some nuance to it but never gave it the time. Well, I had time that day.

A work in progress crescent moon drawing — WIP a drawing of a crescent moon

And oh my it was really good. Good in the sense I’m not gonna pick it up again. Satisfied my curiosity of dissecting each animal’s behavior and ideas. Had me clutching my pearls for the atrocities found there. Could I recommend it?

Um, no. Because my internet decided to cut it off. And later when I set off to watch it again I couldn’t. I’ve yet to finish the entire thing of course, and I lacked like maybe thirty minutes. Instead, I put on a rewatch of The Diary of a mad, black woman. We had TBS channel when I was younger, and we would watch it on there. If not, then it would be like Love and Basketball.

So experimenting between finding my joy I found an old cartoon on youtube. A compilation of episodes called ‘Moomin Valley’. I had seen the Moomin character drawn on some Pinterest board at some point and moved past it. But to find out it had a whole tv show I had to see.

Think of the original cartoon movie Lord of the rings and the other whimsical spectrum of the early 90’s My Little Pony. Mix in a little Strawberry shortcake early 2000’s.

It’s literally so cute! I love it with my full heart. I looove to analyze every piece of media I touch. It says so much about the person drawing it and writing the script. And what was going on at the time. I’ve never recommended something like this with my full chest but I’m telling you now.

Still keeping my eye on the business, I had to be a big girl and drive down to the local post office. To claim my PO box—I know, girl, I know! Big moves! Annnd I went to the library to check stuff out. And research a little into their private rooms and printer process.

I’ll have to do some more rework in my mind about producing products from my home.

Nicknamed 'The Seance' is a black and white drawing of a room with curtains, a table, crystal ball, chairs. A free coloring page from my shop

New ink cartridges for my old printer and creating an account with Printfull. I really think I could do something about that. I’m an optimist at heart. Stuck inside a cynic’s mind. Oooo real Shakespeare there. Watch out.

I’ve had to rework so many ins and outs it’s crazy. Who knew I’d pick a job that had so much math in it? Damn, you would’ve thought I loved math growing up. Trying to size all these dimensions, corresponding with the depth and length of the PO. In case of returns, of course. And figuring out marketing and researching new ways to invent myself. It’s crazy.

But I secretly love it at the same time.

Ten years ago, hell even five years ago, I would’ve never thought I’d be out doing this. This is it! Or at least the journey of it. And instead of just prints, and stickers on here I’m going to be making other products to with Printful. I really think I can be creative with that. I’ve always wanted my own T-shirt line and well maybe this is it. I’m still not sure of how or when, but that’s the beauty in experimenting.

You never truly know the full result until you try it out.

I'll see y'all again, soon.

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